http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LwpKsatutY <--the Engagement Video
Ah, the years I've dreamt about what it would be like to tell the engagement story. Little did I know that words will NEVER be able to do it justice. To answer the most popular question, yes I was surprised! If you watch the video without the story it would be hard to gather that..but I will explain to the best of my ability..
So, we decided on Monday the 16th to go out to celebrate our being together for ten months. In my mind, I had thought a lot about the engagement and had a feeling it was going to be somewhere around mid September..not really for any reason..I just had a gut feeling. So on our ten month, we planned to do dinner and then some sort of outdoor activity. Well--it POURED outside, so the outdoor part had to be 'rain checked.' That was totally fine, we ended up watching the Jungle Book. :)
On Friday, Chris mentioned that he was going to have to go back to Greenville for the day to work, and I wouldn't be able to see him till later on that night..I was sad because it was our first weekend in Clemson and wanted to spend Friday with him, but I knew he had an obligation to his work back in Greenville. At the last minute, he told me he didn't have to go home so we were going to be able to hang out. Even if I thought that we were going to be getting engaged soon (which I didn't..) I would have NEVER thought that it would be on a day that his work plans got rearranged, I was just happy that he was staying in Clemson for the day. So we hung out, played some tennis, and he casually asked me about going to dinner (not unusual.) I asked him if he wanted everyone to go and he was like "Eh, I dunno..we can just make a date out of it." SUPER casual..
We went to dinner at Brioso's (delicious)and the conversation was very very typical for us..nothing out of the ordinary. Then we walked down about a block into downtown Clemson to this little park area with some fountains. We were hugging (again, not unusual haha) and went to kiss when we noticed a mom and her little boy. We sat down for a while and waited to see if they were going to leave..but they didn't, so Chris was like "oh well, let's just go to the Botanical Gardens instead." This, again, was not unusual..we go to the Gardens all the time-in fact, we were there hammocking just before we played tennis that day. I figured the only reason we were going there was because we didn't want to disturb the little boy and his mom. (In retrospect, I guess them being there worked out for Chris ;))
So we drive to the gardens and walk around aimlessly (as usual.) We get to a certain place in the Gardens after about 20 minutes and Chris tells me to close my eyes because he has something to show me. So he covers my eyes and leads me for a couple minutes to this spot. In my head, I was thinking that this was our "rain check" from the other night, and that maybe we were going to have some kind of picnic for desert, or that he had set up a blanket and flowers for me or something.
When he uncovered my eyes, I looked around and there were fifty lit candles lining the stone walls and ground under the pergola (where months earlier we had recorded a video to keep in mine for future wedding locations). Directly under the pergola were scattered flower petals, and in front of me was my best friend down on one knee. I started sobbing immediately (feeling bad that he could barely get any words out over my crying) and then he tells me words I won't ever forget. I didn't get to see the ring (that was still in his pocket) when I fell to my knees in front of him to hug him. After a few seconds he tells me to look to my right, and there beside us was his brother, our good friend (and his roommate) Paul, Paul's brother David, our friend Anthony, and our other friend, Mark. Tim was recording us the whole time, and all the boys had on khakis and blue button down shirts. Paul brought over a bottle of wine, David brought over a bouquet of flowers, and we hugged and I cried and they continued to take pictures..
Good thing Tim was videotaping, because this experience was SO surreal..I'm glad I can watch and put the images with my memory of it. I am so thankful and blessed to be engaged to my best friend, and we are SO thankful for the support of our family and friends..and August 20th was by far the greatest day of my life. I can't even imagine what my feelings are going to be like on our wedding day!
Amazing. We are so very blessed.
Not sure what I'm feeling..so I may as well write about it. Maybe I kind of do know bits and pieces but it's been a rough couple of days. I was (and still am) so excited to be back in Clemson..but it's just been crazy I guess. First of all, yes, I am still getting used to the "post-camp" experience. It's hard for people to take this idea seriously if they haven't actually experienced it...but you get VERY used to being in an environment where everyone (for the most part) is a Christian, or at least used to talking about God on a daily basis. I feel like the main thing is that people that have experienced long amounts of time working at (or attending) camps that heavily emphasize spiritual growth and development is that you see how things COULD be in a community where every one is working to serve God and to better and encourage those around them. Ideally, if every one was living the way God intended us to live, it would look a lot like what this summer and last summer looked like. Yes, we still mess up, and it is nothing close to perfection..however when bad things DO happen or feelings ARE hurt..the way that they are dealt with are also out of brotherly and sisterly love that only comes from God.
Again, super hard to explain with words..
Basically, I tend to get too used to situations like these when I'm in them. It's hard for me to adjust going back to a community where God isn't talked about unless it is with those that are close to you.
On top of that, I got really used to living in a long distance relationship with Chris..I guess you could say that during long distance relationships you get used to this feeling of hanging out while knowing that you will be separated again soon.. For me, I always had a hard time fully enjoying each minute with Chris during the summer and last semester, because underneath it all I was always preparing my mind to have to say goodbye to him again. I am so thankful that from now on, we will never have to experience long distance again, but I haven't gotten used to not feeling this way yet. This barely makes sense to me, but it's true. I catch myself, when with him, thinking that the moment, situation, etc is going to abruptly end, even though it's not..and it puts this weird damper in my mood....I guess it's all about adjusting to change....just a very weird feeling to sort through.
And lastly, I've really been realizing that for me to make assumptions, and for other people to make assumptions about others is extremely aggrivating. I'm so guilty of making assumptions about people, situations, and things before really finding out for myself what is going on..but I didn't notice it until I started feeling the affects of someone doing it to me. It rips away any chance at being open minded to get to know somebody, because you've got your mind made up before any words have been spoken. It creates tension where tension isn't needed. It creates an environment where people have to "prove" themselves to you when in reality, nobody "owes" you anything for making these judgements in the first place. This has been a frustration of mine for YEARS. I promise that I cannot count the number of people that I have met and then later gotten to know very well have told me "when I first saw you and was introduced to you..I assumed you were going to be _____,________, or ______" and in those blanks were ALWAYS either a)a partier...b)a "man-eater"...c)one of those sorority girls...d)really high maintenance and girly. On top of those descriptions, it sucks because they are based SOLELY on the way that I look. It's definitely human nature to do this, I've done it a million times..but when people do it to me, my family, chris, mine and chris' relationship...it just frustrates the HECK out of me.
Get to know me. Heck, talk to me for 45 seconds and you'll be able to tell what I'm all about. Most of all, don't act like you have free reign to give "advice" to people who are in situations that you have never experienced in your life. Too much to ask? Nope.
Again, super hard to explain with words..
Basically, I tend to get too used to situations like these when I'm in them. It's hard for me to adjust going back to a community where God isn't talked about unless it is with those that are close to you.
On top of that, I got really used to living in a long distance relationship with Chris..I guess you could say that during long distance relationships you get used to this feeling of hanging out while knowing that you will be separated again soon.. For me, I always had a hard time fully enjoying each minute with Chris during the summer and last semester, because underneath it all I was always preparing my mind to have to say goodbye to him again. I am so thankful that from now on, we will never have to experience long distance again, but I haven't gotten used to not feeling this way yet. This barely makes sense to me, but it's true. I catch myself, when with him, thinking that the moment, situation, etc is going to abruptly end, even though it's not..and it puts this weird damper in my mood....I guess it's all about adjusting to change....just a very weird feeling to sort through.
And lastly, I've really been realizing that for me to make assumptions, and for other people to make assumptions about others is extremely aggrivating. I'm so guilty of making assumptions about people, situations, and things before really finding out for myself what is going on..but I didn't notice it until I started feeling the affects of someone doing it to me. It rips away any chance at being open minded to get to know somebody, because you've got your mind made up before any words have been spoken. It creates tension where tension isn't needed. It creates an environment where people have to "prove" themselves to you when in reality, nobody "owes" you anything for making these judgements in the first place. This has been a frustration of mine for YEARS. I promise that I cannot count the number of people that I have met and then later gotten to know very well have told me "when I first saw you and was introduced to you..I assumed you were going to be _____,________, or ______" and in those blanks were ALWAYS either a)a partier...b)a "man-eater"...c)one of those sorority girls...d)really high maintenance and girly. On top of those descriptions, it sucks because they are based SOLELY on the way that I look. It's definitely human nature to do this, I've done it a million times..but when people do it to me, my family, chris, mine and chris' relationship...it just frustrates the HECK out of me.
Get to know me. Heck, talk to me for 45 seconds and you'll be able to tell what I'm all about. Most of all, don't act like you have free reign to give "advice" to people who are in situations that you have never experienced in your life. Too much to ask? Nope.
It's going to be a big year. And I am so excited.
So, I'm home from camp..going through the same depression as last year..no surprise there..at least I was mentally prepared this time. Amazing year, but it's going to take me a few months again to really be able to write about it. All I know is that the "theme" in my heart this summer was definitely owning my faith..believing what I believe and knowing why I believe them..taking the foundation my parents had planted in me and really finding out why I believe these things. I realized once again the reality of what Jesus has done in my life. I rediscovered why the way Jesus lived really is the best way to live. I rediscovered my brokenness and the weaknesses that He wants to turn into good. I realized more greatly the impact of selfish behavior. I realized once again that God didn't have to reveal any part of his plan for my life to me, but he did..because He is good and just and He is love.
