1. This time last year we were preparing to bring in the new year all the way from Managua, Nicaragua. I technically celebrated the New Year-US time because I was so sleepy--but we enjoyed treats and tons of sketchy home-made fireworks. The trip was amazing and our first mission trip as a husband and wife. We're totally praying right this second for the group there right now! Who will probably be in this very room shown below tonight for new years treats and shenanigans:

So this was my first Christmas away from my parent's home. I really didn't think it was going to be a big deal for me...not because I don't love my family but because things like this usually don't get me all sentimental feeling.  But I definitely woke up and thought a lot about my whole family being together without me--especially because I don't get to see my older brother and his wife very much because they are a bit further away.
I so look forward to the day when we have kids that understand Christmas and we can begin to create our own traditions in our home, but for now we've been splitting the holidays between our families. Before this turns depressing, let me say that we had a great Christmas at the Tate house. They are my family too--and our Christmas day traditions are VERY similar to those I grew up with...which is kind of awesome. Not to mention, it's kind of ridiculous that we have two loving families to spend the holidays with at all. So many have to be alone during this time of year.

Brief update and a small disclaimer.

The holidays were awesome and I did manage to take some photos, which is where my disclaimer comes in--I totally had my iso set on 6400 the ENTIRE break because the last time I used my camera I was shooting in the dark. I didn't notice when I was shooting because there was so much going on and I was sleepy (christmas morning) so I just would snap a few and put my camera away without even looking. Stupid.

Therefore--all the photos are grainy. BUM. I'm considering running them through a vintage filter so it will look like I did it on purpose. Bahaha.

Also--Les Mis was AMAZING. I saw it live and was hoping that the movie wouldn't ruin it for me..because I had been hearing that from people who have seen it live....but seriously it was awesome. The two aren't even comparable. Go see it.

That's all because I don't have time to type. Grainy pictures and holiday stories coming soon!

Mmmmm, heard baby's heart beat for the second time this week and cried yet again. Will this happen every time!? I sure hope so. It's so magical. I could listen to it for hours. The world totally stops when I hear those little thumps. I can only imagine what it's going to be like to actually SEE this baby. Gracious. And it was super exciting to have the doctor feel my belly and telling me that it feels like everything is growing well. :)

AND--we've officially got a boy's name and a girl's name picked out...I don't think they'll be changing because they feel so right. Can't wait to find out the gender. Growing up, I always thought of cute names I liked and wanted to name my future kids...it wasn't until very recently that the power of naming our children really hit me. We literally crossed out multiple names we love after looking up the meanings and finding things that were either neutral or not so great. I keep being reminded of the significance of the naming and renaming of people in scriptures--it's so powerful!

Andddd, we're still planning on waiting until the birthday to announce it. :)

Happy almost Christmas!

I totally went to type a post about funny things that have been happening to me, and then I opened the page and now I can't remember any of them. Perfect time to talk about how I've been pleasantly reminiscing about the good old days of hormonal teenage weird body changes and stuff. No seriously. Wanna know what the first trimester of pregnancy is like? Your emotions are psycho, your body is doing weird things, you start feeling like a huge balloon whale, you want to eat everything and nothing at the same time, and you could vom at the smell of any of the following objects: peanut butter, cabbage, toothpaste, and cauliflower.

See. Just like puberty. Maybe only really like the first 2. or maybe 3. Except it is definitely similar regarding the fact that everybody keeps saying, "Don't worry, this is all normal." I didn't find much comfort in those words when I was 13...and don't really now, but I do appreciate hugs and my sweet friends who let me cry about absolutely nothing. Also, I'm like the queen of "don't-act-like-your-life-experiences-are-the-exact-same-as-mine" so I'm going to be the first to say that I have plenty of friends who have breezed through the first trimester and others who have had it way worse than me. To each his own. Except not really your own at all because your body is no longer just for you..there's another human in there sucking your energy away like a high-powered industrial vacuum.

But honestly--I'm pretty disappointed about the peanut butter thing 'cause its like the easiest snack/meal ever. PB&J's? Puke. My body is also in that awkward stage where Chris and I can tell I'm showing (although my chest is growing at three times the rate of my belly) but nobody else can tell because I can cover these things with clothes...and then I'm really uncomfortable because my clothes don't fit all that well. I dream all day about coming home and putting on sweatpants. It's okay though because when I look down and see my stomach protruding like a firmer version of a beer belly, Chris tells me my stomach is cute and then I tell him he's blinded by love.

All this to say--yes, its totally worth it. Psychosis and all. I'm already daydreaming about holding that little baby for the first time. It's also funny that we have to wait the same amount of time for the baby as we did to get married. I know it's going to fly and then we're going to be on honeymoon baby version where we get to fall in love all over again. Yes please.

We love you so much Baby Tate! Grow grow grow!!

If you've never heard Adam Sandler's Thanksgiving Song from way back when or you haven't heard it since last Thanksgiving..it's a must. Do it. It's right here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PFERpWahZE

In other news, I feel like a superhero right now because I totally did Insanity last night for the first time since getting preggos. This is basically a miracle considering I can't make the bed without feeling like I've run a marathon or something. People say this has something to do with placenta formation and I'm like, well of course I'm tired, I'm growing a human in here.

Apparently the formation is almost over which explains why I did Insanity without passing out after the warm-up. Score. I did sweat profusely and I can barely walk today but whateva. Are people weirded out by the word placenta? Probs.

I'm super excited for Thanksgiving and am feeling so blessed that both of our families live relatively close together so we don't have to choose one over the other each holiday. We'll be seeing my fam and Chris' fam for Thanksgiving AND Christmas like we did last year and the year before (and the year before we were married). One of my favorite things about having two families now is getting to experience all the different traditions...like experiencing Grandma Tate's rum-ified eggnog. Oh wait, I can't have that this year. Literally--it's all the rage.

Now all I can think about is eggnog. Jeez. Pregnancy. Can I even have eggnog at all? Raw egg or something? So many rules.

Eggnog reminds me of Christmas and Christmas reminds me of how we've definitely been listening to Christmas music since last week. Cue all of the arguments about whether this is acceptable or not. In our minds--we're totally not "skipping over" Thanksgiving or whatever else people say. In fact..we're thankful that we have Christmas music to listen to and we're thankful that we have the freedom to celebrate TWO holidays at the same time. Whaaaat!?

Um it's TOTALLY worth mentioning that our dear friends Emily and Parm are ENGAGED. Parm is one of my favorite photographerbuddies and Emily is literally the sweetest person EVER. I'm using caps alot because LITERALLYICOULDPEEMYPANTSWITHEXCITEMENTANDPROBABLYPREGNANCY. Their relationship is such a wonderful example of the goodness that comes out of each of them seeking the Lord first. Plus..it's pretty stinkin' obvious that He handpicked them to be together for the rest of their lives. So dreamy. You guys rock.

I am rambling at this point. Me and this baby are going to realllllly enjoy Thanksgiving food this year. No joke. Did you know you really only need about 200-300 extra calories when pregnant? Not a lot of people know that so I can pretend that I need like 1500 more than normal and nobody will judge me. Kidding.

Okay. Happpppppy holidays, people.

Nobody has been believing us when we tell them we are...that story about the wolf and the boy is totally true. Clearly we didn't learn our childhood lessons. I promise this time, people. :)

Goodness, sorry for all the trickery. if we could go back in time..we'd totally never joke about being pregnant. Kidding. We totally would. Anyways, we've tried to tell as many people as we could in person before posting anything--which is a super overwhelming and awesome task...so we think it's safe to post it now.

This is why I haven't been posting much lately..I kept almost letting it slip on here so I decided to steer clear of emotional blog writing. Bahaha.

Chris and I have been going to bed between 7:30 and 8:30 almost every night since this dang time change. There.
I said it.
That's right. 7:30, people.

You only live once. Kidding, I don't think that trendy phrase fits this scenario but I think we're pretty cool so whatever.

On the bright side--it's 8:08 as I type this..that's PM, and we're still awake. In fact, we're at Subway. Why? Because our internet is down and Subway has free wifi. Who know, right? So even if we left RIGHT NOW we still wouldn't even be asleep till like 9. So wild! Late nights, holla! Back to the point: Subway>Clemson Library. Literally never studied once in that library. That's an exaggeration. I did study there more than once..but I was mad every time.The lights are basically the worst thing ever and it's always packed.

Subway, however...is not packed. Plus....we're sitting right next to the refillable drink machine (a.k.a. water 'cause that's all we get).

Clearly I have nothing to do because I'm raving about Subway. We don't even ever eat at Subway. Chris is doing his school work (in his plaid pajamas, hot) and I'm....drinking water.

Speaking of Chris. That man totally amazes me each day and I can surely say that despite knowing how good of a man I was marrying back on May 15th of 2011....he continues to blow me away. It's crazy looking back on how much we loved each other the day we got married and to think that it's even sweeter and deeper and better now. I can't imagine what this is going to feel like in 10, 20, 50 years. Marriage truly is an indescribable blessing. If God has allowed us to think about and experience marriage this way in our flawed, earthly bodies with all of our imperfections..just imagine how the perfect Creator views his bride, the church. Mind. Blown.

I have tomorrow off (what whaaat!!) so basically I'm going to be catching up on a ton of photography stuff and thinking about all the veterans for veterans day which is actually today but also tomorrow for work purposes? Not sure. But regardless--I truly am thankful for all of these wonderful people. Especially now that I am a wife and could not IMAGINE my husband leaving for long periods of time to serve our country. We would be a total wreck. It takes such strong individuals and families to serve in that way.

Tomorrow marks the one week countdown 'till a very special day we're going to have. More on that goodness later.

Any other exciting things?
Nope.
We love life and love and marriage and our little family and the one who provided it all. Happy best day of the week! :)

Despite all the clever, witty, sarcastic, and plain mean politically-related statuses..it's important to remember that YOU, my friends, have the choice each day to draw people of all kinds closer towards you in love...or farther away from you in bitterness. Kindness is contagious..and I think we can ALL agree that if anything-we'd like to live in a society that is kind.

Maybe I'm not the most politically minded girl in the world, and maybe I daydream every so often about living in a society where it's acceptable to hug strangers on a daily basis--but my favorite quote from mine and my husband's household is this: kindness is NOT optional. Despite our circumstances, despite how we feel, despite our opposing opinions--kindness is never optional. (aaaannnd repeat with the rest of the lovely fruits of the Spirit.)

This is especially true for all of us who claim to be believers. Are we going to mess up? Yes. Are we going to have opinions about things? Yes, and we should. But at the end of the day--we must be thinking of what we have done to positively impact those around us. This absolutely includes social media sites where we air out quotes and phrases and opinions that we would never have the guts to say out loud. You are exposed to all of this. You are impacted by all of this whether you think you are or not.

I'm not waving my ignorance-is-bliss flag around (although most days I can barely stand the thought of checking facebook.) And I definitely believe that being informed is so so important. I believe that we are BLESSED to live in a society where we, especially women, have the ability to vote. And of course--I believe that God's sovereignty is not dependent on who the President is. And your facebook status is SURELY not going to change who the President is. So just take a deep breath..and join me in daydreaming about my theoretical hug-aholic society.

Jesus. Is. King. And. He. Is. Victorious.

Me: Hey! How were clinicals?

Chris: Gooood, I'm sooo sleepy.

Me: yea, me too. Let's go to bed at like........7 tonight.   (joking)

Chris: YES   (serious)

Chris: YEA, like we could watch a tv show in bed or something   (serious)

Chris: ...and then it'll be like 7 and we can just like go to sleep   (serious)

Chris:   doesn't it get dark around 7 now?   (serious)

Me: hahahahahahhahahahahah (laughing at how ridiculous that sounds and how we're way too awesome to spend our Thursday night like that.)

Me: ..............yea, actually, that sounds really good. 

Welp. My hot male nurse of a husband is writing some kind of paper about potassium. So I'll mumble out some thoughts through the fog that is my brain.

I'm home from our first training week in Columbia. Here are some pros and cons to going to training in Columbia every other week:

PROS:
1. It's pretty fun and reminds me of college a bit...people complain a lot but what's new, right? It's actually better than most college classes because it's about stuff I actually like and want to do with my life. Take that, dumb GenED classes.
2. I get to meet a lot of people who also work at DSS in other counties...same heart...same mind. Sike--the crowd is pretty diverse. But regardless, it's cool meeting so many new people who all have the same job you do.
3. I get to hang out with my familia, including my little brother that my parents decided to have SUPER late because they were depressed that their house was about to be filled with teenagers. Thanks for that, guys..Mikey is pretty sweet. The fact that he's so much younger than us means that he can't necessarily drive to see us for another few years..so we only get to seem him when the family gets together.
4. My parents are great and it gives me more opportunities to try and convince them to adopt. Kidding, Mom. You're going to be a great adoptivegrandmother.
5. I get to do fun things like trick Chris into thinking I'm coming home a day later and then surprise him. Not really, this only happened because I drove back here tonight and have to go back again tomorrow..but not for the same training..it's for a different one that we can carpool to.

CONS:
1. This dang lady who tells me that I'm "just a newlywed" when I talk about how much my husband rocks. I said...well then, my parents must be newlyweds too, huh. Hearing about how much people don't like their spouses totally rips my heart into pieces.Truth. Like--I can totally empathize with people in broken marriages/relationships. I can't imagine what it's like but I get that there are so many factors involved. My problem with this lady is that she didn't even have a reason except for that she just loves being away from him and that "at least he's better than husband number one."
Luckily I don't even know this lady and she was just listening to a conversation I was having with someone else. She also mumbled throughout training things like, "You've got to be kidding me, Good LORD, That's ridiculous" and "G_d D**n." So basically...I tried not to let her negativity cross the threshold of my personal bubble. Take that.
2. Being away from Chris, duh.
3. That's kind of it.

I'm going to sleep. I have no idea how I just typed that and Chris is done with his potassiumpaper. Holllllla.

We still have the creeper song stuck in our heads from SNL. Look it up if you haven't seen it..it's hilarious.

It's the 2 day countdown until Chris and I have to sleep apart for the first time ever. I'm making a huge deal about this and you can just suck it up because it IS A BIG DEAL.

I'm just kidding.

But for the record...we've kissed each other goodnight every stinkin' night before bed since the day we got married...now we're going to have to like air-five over skype instead. Whateva.

We had a super awesome celebratory "I'm going to miss you" Friday night event by eating chinese, rearranging our bedroom furniture, and then spiraling down into a vortex of unnecessary photo editing and iPad article reading until we got too tired to stay up any longer. What is happening to us. It's like we're getting older or something. We're totally making up for our lamesauce Friday by going to TWO fall festivals today. Boom shaka laka.

I'm so thankful I have a hot husband who isn't afraid to go to my photoshoots with me to practice. Even though I tell him over and over he doesn't need "practice" because he's a natural. Evidence:


and also:

Just a quick update and some ramblings. I've failed to post lately mainly because I haven't wanted to get on my computer when I get home from work. Not because I have to be on my computer at work, but because facebook and other such sites depress me lately...I've concluded that the only reason I use facebook is for uploading pictures and writing raps on my friends walls mostly. Other than that I basically post my blog link for my weird friends who tell me they like it and then I log off.

Movin' on down...I doubt I'll be posting as much the next few months because I'll be driving back and forth every other week to Columbia and missing my husband like whoah. In the year and 5 months we've been married, we've yet to sleep a night apart...so this is huge. Don't laugh at us. We'll be skyping a lot. Actually, maybe this means I'll be posting more since I won't be able to come home and hang out with him. I'm super grateful that I'll be able to stay with my family as opposed to a hotel, though. Total blessing. :) Plus, my best friend lives in Columbia and we haven't gotten to see each other enough since we went to separate colleges. Bonus.


In other news, Chris is beasting nursing school, we're stoked that New Girl is back, we're still pumped that we don't have a TV, we'll be moving out of our apartment in a month and a half, I love my job, we've been leaving our windows open allllll day due to this awesome chilly weather, andddd we're pregnant.

Just kidding about that last thing.

Remember that time we were going to video blog? That never happened. I'm always reminded of this when I catch Chris singing weird things and dancing by himself. Other than that, our lives are pretty fantastic and we're trying really hard to not be dumb about the winter season coming...it's so neat that we have changing seasons! That way we can really appreciate when the spring comes. :) I'm thinking about doing a winter photography project to better appreciate the season. We'll see.

Peace!

Sometimes...after Chris has made a meal (or we've made it together), I start getting super nerdy urges to take pictures of the meal. Mostly because I hope one day we can put together a cute little cookbook, but then sometimes the pictures just sit in a folder on my computer and I never look at them again. Today I did and realized that I guess we've been eating a lot of Mexican food lately (Chris' fave) because all the pictures I took from the past month are of Mexican food. Mexican is one of those words that starts to look funny the more you type it. So serious.

Anyways, Chris was/has been determined to figure out how our favorite Mexican restaurant marinades their chicken. My personal opinion is that his marinade was ballin' and didn't need improving. It was different than the restaurant one though, so he won't cease until nailed it. Anyways, here they are. Then I realized the picture after was the next food picture I had.....and it is also Mexican.

Chris and I were google chat ADDICTS when we were dating.

Let's face it, we still are. I'm not going to try and deny the truth.

Anyways, we were LD for a semester (long distance) so we were ALWAYS up on the g-chat so that we could study and talk at the same time.

Sometimes I get curious about the kinds of conversations we used to have when we were dating, so I'll go and read my old g-chats with him and usually I laugh my face off because it's hard to picture us when we were  dating because we just wanted to be married so bad and we were also just weird and half distracted trying to study and maintain a relationship over the internet. I just made it sound like we met and dated solely online. Not true--but you should be glad we DID talk online sometimes so that I can present this kind of entertainment for you.

Anyways, it is kinda cool to see how far we've come..but to also see how we're really just the same silly kids with the same strange minds who now live up under the same roof in order to multiply the strangeness...eventually in the form of children. I've decided to include these chats on occasion for funsies. Here's a good gem for now:

6-23-10 3:08pm
me: :) whatcha doin
chris: taking a break from the rediculously hot sun
 its like 1000 degrees outside
me: I KNOW. its like a volcano erupted in the sky
chris: and the lava just replaced the air
me: exactly.

I always feel bad when I write these kinds of things. Because the whole time I'm thinking, like, "you should be thankful that you can even GO to the dentist, ya big jerk." But let me just be human for .5 seconds and tell you why I would rather go to AWFUL girly-girl doctor's appointments once a week than go to the dentist a couple times a year.

For one, I'm mostly just pissed off at myself for waiting so long to go because this is a prime example of the fact that I'm mediocre at a lot of skills that I should be better about, such as making important doctor's appointments. I thrive at being mediocre, I think. The few things I'm good at are as listed:

-I can basically rap on command. Ask Chris. Sometimes the raps don't make much sense but don't ever question this skill of mine unless you want to be summoned for a rap battle.

-I'm pretty good at cooking. That's cooking--NOT baking. Just for the record.

-I'm pretty positive that I'm a beast when it comes to the field of child welfare. I mean, let's be honest, it's the one goal I've actually stuck with since childhood--besides marry a hot drummer.

-I'm also pretty awesome at hugging. Not even going to be modest about that.

Basically everything else in life seems like it should come much easier than it actually does--like baking, answering my phone before it goes to voicemail, riding a bike (just kidding--that joke is for Chris.)

I'm totally joking--I'm good at more things than what I listed above. My point is that I should have stinkin' gone to the stinkin' dentist before stinkin' now because NOW instead of having ONE cavity---I have 4.

Before you start visualizing me as having some kind of nasty gremlin teeth full of cavities and plaque let me just say that I brush my teeth often. I called my mom after my dentist appointment all like, "whattheheck, mom..why are my teeth so crappy" and she said something like we have softer teeth that get cavities and have problems more easily. (Basically, a genetic WIN.)

Whateva--I'm cool with it because I was able to ward off dumb boy related drama until later in my highschool years because I was that kid with braces for 5 years on top of every other metal contraption invented to make any kids mouth look like a torture chamber. (Maybe we shoulda left all that stuff in there longer. Actually, maybe we should have just homeschooled or something.)

I'm beginning to see that my distaste for the dentist has some early roots. I should hash those out later in the form of irrational and overly dramatic complaints to my husband who will laugh at me and make me feel even worse. But then we'll hug.

So I go to the dentist with my FOUR cavities and my UBER LATE appointment that should have happened oh, say, a year ago..and then I just flat out ADMIT that I'm a huge baby and that it is highly likely that I am going to cry or sweat profusely or swear on accident. They kind of laughed but in the nervous kind of way like they were actually scared I was going to flip out and start throwing their scary pointy equipment around.

I thought the worst part was going to be the numbing shots that they SHOVE into your gums without warning. (4 of them.) I don't blame them fully for not telling me--they probably thought I was highly unstable. I was. I figured once I'm numb all will be well with the world. Wishful thinking, I suppose--because they started the work and all I heard for the next hour was that awful high pitched drilling noise in the inner most part of my jaw/ear.

Naturally-my brain began to think of all of the excuses I could make to bust out of that joint. Tell them I'm going to throw up or poop or maybe I could just punch one of them in the face unexpectantly and blame it on nervous and combative reflexes. Either way, it was basically an hour of dentisthell.

One redeeming quality: half way through, the dentist tells me she forgot to inform me that she'll be using silver filling for the cavities..she wanted to know if this was okay (?) OKAY!? Of course it's okay--just one step closer to fulfilling my dream to become a ferocious-but-kind pirate. This new information allowed me to envision myself as a more believable pirate until a second later when I remembered there was basically a chainsaw/drilling fest goin on in my mouth.

This story doesn't have a happy ending because my mouth feels like poop.
Also, I have to go back in another week so they can finish.

Go to the dentist, people.
Love,
Pirate Jordan.

P.S. If you're studying to be a dentist (Hey, Clint) then I apologize and hope this doesn't discourage you. I'll pray that you don't get patients like me. Don't worry, you're gonna be great.

It's amazing what a tiny little gesture at work can do for your heart! What a sweet gift from the Lord through a co-worker. Bet she didn't even know how much I love pens and handwritten notes. ;) You rock, Laura.

We're also fasting from negative speech this week so sorry about the title and for what is about to come out of my head. Anyways. Hopefully I'll make up for my negativity at the end of this post. Maybe. Maybe.

Listen to how selfish this girl right here is.

I'm going to talk solely about the selfishness that occurred from the time frame of 5pm to 5:10pm. Ten minutes. Ten stinkin' minutes.  That should give you an indication of the state of my heart the rest of the day (even if it was just in my head.)

I get in my car to go home. I'm super pumped because Wednesdays are house church night and Chris and I don't get any alone time those nights (but we get awesome bible study time so it's awesome.) Regardless, I was looking forward to a Thursday night with no plans.

I call Chris to tell him I'll be home soon when I remember that Thursday night=band practice night during the weeks Chris drums for church.

I got mad.
Like.
For real.

Literally I'm thinking to myself, "Seriously? I just want a stinkin' night with you uninterrupted." (I get those ALL the time by the way so it shouldn't even matter. Me in this moment=throwing a massive freakin' pity party. Party of uno.)

Fast foward about 9 minutes. I'm in the right lane of traffic on the highway and I'm (of course) right behind the catbus. 5oclock Traffic in the right lane comes to a complete stop and I literally say OUT LOUD in my car in the most sassypantsofthecentury voice, "SERIOUSLY!?"

Approximately one minute later I've determined I'm a huge jerk for a couple (million) reasons.

1. I'm grumpy about Chris having band practice when in reality what this means is that I married a man who is excited to use his musical gift to glorify the Lord on Sunday mornings, even when that means night practices and getting up early early to get to church Sunday mornings for extra practice.
2. This also means that I have a hot drummer husband (if you don't remember or didn't know, I literally begged God in my early days to make my husband a drummer. This is not a joke..I have it written in my journal from sometime in the early 2000's.)
3. This ALSO means that I have to force myself to close my eyes on Sundays during worship so that I can focus on worshiping God and NOT focus on how sexy my man looks when he's drumming. True Life. So bad. (Before you tell me I'm a heathen, know that I've taken this up with God and he says I'm allowed to be attracted to my husband..and in turn I just promised Him that I'll just close my eyes so that I can worship Him un-distracted.) (I literally see Kim Lilley laughing at me right now.)
4. I literally got mad at the bus for stopping and causing me to arrive home .6 seconds later than I would have had he not stopped. Keep in mind, the catbus is one of (if not THE) largest free public transportation system in the United States.
5. I looked at the man who got off the bus and then was reminded that he is taking the bus because he doesn't have a car. I realized the hugeness of my jerkosity as I remembered that I was sitting in a nice car that I got COMPLETELY FREE as a gift from my parents. Don't you remember that they should have ACTUALLY handed me the worst-teenage-kid-of-the-universe-award instead?
6. Shootmeinthefoot.
7. I'm supposed to be fasting from negative speech, and let's face it..negative thoughts..because those happen before the negative speech most of the time.

I debated ending this post right now because I really have nothing more to say. In just ten little minutes I can go from being a regular old broken human being to being a regular old broken human being with enough sass and hostile thoughts to make anyone slap their hand to their forehead and shake their head at me for hours.

If my negative-speech-fasting-friends are reading this right now. I apologize for filling your brains with negativity. That's why I can't end the post like this.

Here's how I end it.
Jesus still loves me. I am a new creation with a new heart and a new identity. I am free and I am lavished with an overly abundant and radical love that fills me to overflowing. Bam.

And as a sweet bonus I also have a really rad and hilarious husband who is also a hot drummer and picks me up when I get home and asks me "if my kiss tank is empty" and asks me if I want breakfast for dinner. Um. Hey, awesome gift from the Lord.

10 stinkin' minutes I shoulda been worshiping my good good Father and not worshiping my stinkin' stinkin' self.
 

Remember how I said that one time that before every big "milestone" in life, Chris and I seem to experience a large amount of negativity? I know this doesn't just happen to us--we live in a culture that likes to complain and I am not immune. However, it's really awesome to be able to reach those milestones and be able to say, "Hey-this is better than I heard it would be."

Example: Marriage.
Example: Being out of school.
Example: Getting a real job.

I can confidently say that I think the only reason we've faced all of the above (and more) with so much joy and excitement is that we serve a really good God who loves to give us good gifts. He promises us a peace that surpasses understanding--so I shouldn't even be surprised right now with the peace and joy he gives us daily. But it's good to reflect on for times like, say, this summer when I was a total WRECK about the possibility of Chris' schooling not working out and me not finding a job ever....still workin' out that one in my heart.

Anyways.

For those that have been asking--yes, work is going great. I feel awkward right now even typing that because I have co-workers who will probably be reading this since we're facebook friends now (so cute and official. kidding) and that's where I post this. (I already told them I am a lame blog lover so that shouldn't come as a surprise.) Regardless-I do love it a LOT and I'm so grateful that it worked out, especially after being so called to this work before and during my internship. It's a strange thing to be called to something that is so emotionally challenging.

During my internship before graduating, I remember a distinct moment where I felt I was becoming desensitized to hearing about severe child abuse and neglect. I remember coming home and being okay. The worst part about this was that I didn't want to be okay with being okay. It wasn't that I was okay with the  behaviors that existed--it really is heartbreaking and terrible what people put their children through. But there was a moment of realizing that I'm okay because I know that this is so much bigger than me, and that all I can do is the best that I can do. (I also had a huge struggle during that time of believing in God's sovereignty. Every day I found myself asking why God could let ______ happen. That's a story for another time.)

God totally helped me overcome the anxiety that came with handling SO much terrible news over and over and over again during my days there. Now that I'm officially working and dedicated to this, it's so much easier to wrestle with. For me, it's easy in this field of work to view myself as "better" than these individuals that we come in contact with.

In a sense it's kind of obvious of our differences--namely that I could never fathom beating....neglecting...molesting...etc...ANY child, especially my own. But the fact of the matter is what God reminds me of daily........more like every second when I'm there: Jesus died for them too. As cliche as that sounds, it's really the only way to ground ourselves.


So for all you students that read this blog: let me tell you why being out of school is great.
1. No more studying for crazy exams and not getting sleep and having homework all the time.
2. Never having to sit through genED classes that are largely unrelated to what you actually want to do in life.
3. Actually getting TO DO the things you want to do in life instead of just getting tested on them.
4. Learning how to appreciate and make use of the time you have after work. (I promise it's enjoyable and your day ISN'T actually sucked down the drain.)
5. Eating at normal hours (I guess you could do this in school but I never really could manage to eat at a decent time.
6. You never have that feeling of "man, I can't really enjoy anything right now because I just feel like I could be getting ahead on my school work."
7. When Sunday night rolls around you're not cramming to get your reading and assignments done. You're just enjoying your weekend, and hopefully not dreading going to work (find a job you actually want to do!)

The list goes on and on.

Enjoy your time in college, but don't fret about what comes afterwards. God's WILD and EXCITING plan for your life doesn't end when you walk across the stage. (Or not walking across the stage like me because I was jetskiing with my family instead. Win.)

Let me just tell ya real fast how Christopher has this terrible habit of not believing in his abilities. I swear I'm not even saying this to be cheesy or to make you vom. But ever since we met way back when--he would tell me for DAYS how unprepared he is for things like tests and turning in projects for school. And then he would ace them.

He would ace all of them.
Literally.
Makes me so mad.

But seriously, this cycle continued for-EVA. Through dating, graduation, even interviewing for the job he had before going back to school..he just comes up and tells me how unsure he is about it.

Fast forward to nursing school. Of course I knew this was going to happen because it's such a fast paced program...he's only been in for a few weeks now and they just had their first round of tests. Lame.

So he's studying and talking on and on about how unprepared he feels and how serious this is and stuff.
 Anyone want to guess what that fella got on his first nursing exam?
 A stinkin' 96. Give me a break.

The point of this whole story is to tell you lovely friends that read my weird posts to tell Chris he's awesome and way more intelligent than me (I'm just kidding, you don't need to be mean, but actually he is so go for it). At least tell him he's way more intelligent than he thinks he is and that he needs to embrace the nerdy and studious self that he is.

That's all on that note.

Fun fact of the week. We legitimately carpooled to work/school this week. I'm pretty positive it doesn't get much more lame than that. I'm basically going to tell people that it's because we're supa hippie-like and are trying to save the planet by carpooling (which is totally true) but on a side note it's mostly probably just because we're a couple of weird marrieds.True life.

Holla.

Straight up, people. Hand it over.

Kidding.

I love my hubs just as much as the next gal. I mean just as much as the next gal loves HER hubs. Not mine. Back off, ladies. I don't even know how much other girls like their husbands. Hopefully a lot because marriage is way too fun, but ya never know. I'll give ya the benefit of the doubt.

Anyways, I for realsies have been up since 6:30 (more like 6:45..I require mandatory snuggle time in the AM..well...and PM..but AM for this posts sake. Pax is included in said snuggle time and I can't consider this being awake-time because I'm mostly just out of it) all because I told Chris I'd wake up early and go to campus with him.

(I realize 6:30 might even be LATE for some of you people. But let me tell you something. Chris used to work 2nd shift, so we made our sleep schedules match by going to sleep later (we had to...didn't even eat dinner till like 9pm) and then getting up a little later because Chris didn't go in usually till 1pm. That being said........now he's totally flip flopped in a matter of a week=hardcore change for the body. So maybe you think I should ALWAYS be getting up at 6:30, and to that I say--I'm workin' on it.)

End result=I'm bored in a foreign library. But not really because let's be real: I start working at a real job on Tuesday and then I'll have to wait until like 5 or 6 to see that kid's face. Also, seeing all of these hardworking students makes me miss college. Total lie--if you believed it you must not have read my last post.

Anyways, seeing Chris at 5 or 6 every day is actually normal (me working or not), and way better than seeing him at 8:30 pm like his other job...so no complaints here.

Basically I wanted to spend an extra hour with him today, and when I suggested it he got like SUPA happy so I took that as a "yes I should wake up when it's still kinda dark outside to take a car ride with you."
The first 30 minutes in the car mostly consisted of me holding onto my mug as if coffee was about to disappear from existence and Chris forcing me to feed him the eggs he brought in the car since I chose to enforce snuggle time>breakfast time.

However, I am much more alert for the second 30 minutes, plus it's just fun being in a different place for the morning.

As a side note: I've gotten a lot of photo work done.
That's a complete lie.

What I've really done is stalked peoples' pictures and looked at random blogs. (Mostly of which were like...new-mom blogs.) No, I'm not pregos, but sometimes I just obsess about what it's gonna be like to have little tatertots running around (and by running around I mean running into walls as I did when I was a young one.) I don't even mean to find these blogs--it just ends up happening.

I've also been daydreaming about when we have enough credit card rewards points to take some extravagant vacay. (We recently had to get a credit card so that we can prove to the man that we pay for things the right way for the future=lamesauce=doesn't even make sense. Why can't paying cash for everything be rewarded?) I've decided we could potentially at LEAST get free flights or something in 3 to 5 years. Maybe not. Wishful thinking. (We don't buy enough high-dolla-dolla things to merit getting reward points.) I really want to go to Hawaii. Or Costa Rica. (We really just want to live in these places but I'll settle for one week or two until we can make that happen.)

Also, because I woke up early I got to talk to my Yaya (my grandmother..from Spain for those that are not well versed in foreign language family slang) and she told me in her awesomesauce spanish accent, "how proud they are of me for getting my job and see what happens when you are uh-good-little-girl." So funny and awesome. If you know what my grandma sounds like this should be really funny. If you don't--stinks for you because my Gma rocks. She and my Gdaddy are camping (in their camper) for a few weeks in Asheville...their life = probs more exciting than yours. Kidding. They are so fun and adventurous though.

Speaking of Gmas...we'll be headed to the in-laws hizzy this weekend to celebrate grandma Tate's birthday. Pray for her if you think about it, Grandpa Tate recently passed away so this is going to be a different-feeling birthday for her.

Anyways, Chris should be getting out of class soon to come and give me infinite hugs for getting up early to sit in a library and wait for him to get out so we can go play today.

Also, I was looking through our honeymoon photos the other day for no reason and I remembered this gem:


Look how young we look.
Joking--we look the exact same..it was just a little over a year ago.

Anyways, I was just struck by how adorable and photogenic and ready for the photo we were...not. It's like we said, "On the count of three let's awkwardly close our eyes." (P.S. Yes, this was taken DURING the splash mountain ride. So risky and adventurous.)

That is all....unless you wanna creep on the rest of our honeymoonin' photos in which case I support your creeptastic needs: DISNEY.

Have a great weekend. :)

If you enjoy smoothies. And you enjoy PB&J. This smoothie will blow your mind. I first had a PB&J smoothie at a place in Clemson years ago--and I totally forgot about them...until today when I was about to make PB&J.....and then it hit me.
I know, it sounds gross. But you just make a PB&J....and then stick that sucker in the blender. Done.

That's a joke. Please don't do that. That's disgusting. Here are the ingredients:

First, the important things:

Chris has officially started school and he LOVES it! There are 19 people in his class, so I imagine they'll be a fun little family as the semesters go on. I'd love to be able to learn in a small class setting like that. It's perfect for him. There are something like 6 guys and the rest are girls, I believe? I was impressed with how many guys are enrolled.

On the first day of orientation, the staff anointed their hands with oil. (It's a Christian University for those that didn't know.) This warmed my heart and got me so pumped for the idea of Chris being able to use this work to serve God. Woo! It's super fast paced, though..and he starts clinicals in just 8 weeks, I believe..crazy.

I'm still awaiting news about the job possibility. I received some pretty promising remarks after my interview, so I'm trying not to be anxious about it..it should be a week or two before I find out. Pray!

Chris and I are LOVING this normal work schedule. We get to eat at a decent hour (like 6......still not used to it) AND we still have plenty of time afterwards.......or even BEFORE dinner to go play! :) We've been able to workout together again..going on runs and things when he gets home. And it's LIGHT outside for houuuurrrs! Y'all. This is not a joke. Such a blessing to us. Chris used to get out of work and it'd already be dark out. Last night, he got home, we hung out, went on a run, met with friends for dinner, and still had 2 hours of daylight left after we ate. Amazing...I think it's safe to say that we will always hope to have 1st shift jobs.

Not much else is new besides getting adjusted to this new (and better) schedule and hoping I get this job..we're super excited that all the students (and our siblings) are back in Clemson. It's so nice to be able to see family on a regular basis.

On a related side-note..it's weird living in a college town after college because your brain still categorize time as semesters. It'll be weird when Chris is done and we're in a different town (potentially) and we have to start thinking about years as being January to December instead of August to May.

Oh! Just finished up working on some new photos that I really really love. I love getting to meet so many different people with photography. You can look at the latest albums here.

Love!

Be praying for him in his schooling, he'll be done 15 months from now,

So anyways.

Get this madness.

I struggled for a few months (as noted in..um..maybe 95% of my posts in the last good while) with the fact that absolutely ZERO job openings were available to me.

Then. In one week, I was offered 2 (low paying but still awesome) jobs.

Chris and I knew it was going to be tight financially if I took them, with him going to school and all, but hey--God hasn't stopped providing for us yet (and I have a funny feeling he won't ever stop, imagine that.)

Anyways, I took them, but told BOTH employers that I needed to be very open to the possibilities of other full time jobs that could crop up...and if they did I would need to take the one that is best for our situation right now.

Today. Got a call from the agency I REALLY wanted to be at. My former supervisor and another worker from the place I interned at both have been emailing me and keeping me updated about job postings which has been so kind and really made me feel good about my time as an intern, but still--nothing was happening.

So now I have another interview.

I usually don't write about this stuff in detail before I'm more sure about the circumstances, but today I just felt like I really needed to surrender to the uncertainty. Because it's not uncertainty to God.

It's funny-literally everything we've needed in the past few months has totally come at exactly right time (and by right, we mean the very latest and most crazy coincidental times.) Chris kept saying it's so that "we won't ever be able to say it was anything other than God orchestrating it." I said kudos to that but also told God that I 100% believe he's sovereign and that his hand is the only one in all of this so "can you please stop doing that to me?" I'm sure He laughed at me for that, because He just did it again. I mean really-Chris starts school on Monday. This application has been out for over a month. Over a month!

I feel like a child being taught a never-ending lesson on pure, genuine faithfulness. I'm okay with it.

All this being said, I have no clue what is in store. None at all.

So whoever you are reading this. Just pray for me, k? That the right doors would be opened and closed and that if presented with options, that I would make wise decisions as I am guided.

-----------------EDIT---------------------

I was pondering all of this last night when I realize I left a crucial part of the story out.
I went back and checked, and the application I was talking about wasn't out for one month..it was almost three months.

I got an email about that job that said, "You're getting this to inform you that we have chosen another applicant for this position." I got that email in June.

That was a done deal for me.

Last night, I talked with a former co-worker from my internship and she told me that there is a glitch in the system, they've all been getting those emails, even after they've already been hired for the position.

Crazy.