Straight up, people. Hand it over.

Kidding.

I love my hubs just as much as the next gal. I mean just as much as the next gal loves HER hubs. Not mine. Back off, ladies. I don't even know how much other girls like their husbands. Hopefully a lot because marriage is way too fun, but ya never know. I'll give ya the benefit of the doubt.

Anyways, I for realsies have been up since 6:30 (more like 6:45..I require mandatory snuggle time in the AM..well...and PM..but AM for this posts sake. Pax is included in said snuggle time and I can't consider this being awake-time because I'm mostly just out of it) all because I told Chris I'd wake up early and go to campus with him.

(I realize 6:30 might even be LATE for some of you people. But let me tell you something. Chris used to work 2nd shift, so we made our sleep schedules match by going to sleep later (we had to...didn't even eat dinner till like 9pm) and then getting up a little later because Chris didn't go in usually till 1pm. That being said........now he's totally flip flopped in a matter of a week=hardcore change for the body. So maybe you think I should ALWAYS be getting up at 6:30, and to that I say--I'm workin' on it.)

End result=I'm bored in a foreign library. But not really because let's be real: I start working at a real job on Tuesday and then I'll have to wait until like 5 or 6 to see that kid's face. Also, seeing all of these hardworking students makes me miss college. Total lie--if you believed it you must not have read my last post.

Anyways, seeing Chris at 5 or 6 every day is actually normal (me working or not), and way better than seeing him at 8:30 pm like his other job...so no complaints here.

Basically I wanted to spend an extra hour with him today, and when I suggested it he got like SUPA happy so I took that as a "yes I should wake up when it's still kinda dark outside to take a car ride with you."
The first 30 minutes in the car mostly consisted of me holding onto my mug as if coffee was about to disappear from existence and Chris forcing me to feed him the eggs he brought in the car since I chose to enforce snuggle time>breakfast time.

However, I am much more alert for the second 30 minutes, plus it's just fun being in a different place for the morning.

As a side note: I've gotten a lot of photo work done.
That's a complete lie.

What I've really done is stalked peoples' pictures and looked at random blogs. (Mostly of which were like...new-mom blogs.) No, I'm not pregos, but sometimes I just obsess about what it's gonna be like to have little tatertots running around (and by running around I mean running into walls as I did when I was a young one.) I don't even mean to find these blogs--it just ends up happening.

I've also been daydreaming about when we have enough credit card rewards points to take some extravagant vacay. (We recently had to get a credit card so that we can prove to the man that we pay for things the right way for the future=lamesauce=doesn't even make sense. Why can't paying cash for everything be rewarded?) I've decided we could potentially at LEAST get free flights or something in 3 to 5 years. Maybe not. Wishful thinking. (We don't buy enough high-dolla-dolla things to merit getting reward points.) I really want to go to Hawaii. Or Costa Rica. (We really just want to live in these places but I'll settle for one week or two until we can make that happen.)

Also, because I woke up early I got to talk to my Yaya (my grandmother..from Spain for those that are not well versed in foreign language family slang) and she told me in her awesomesauce spanish accent, "how proud they are of me for getting my job and see what happens when you are uh-good-little-girl." So funny and awesome. If you know what my grandma sounds like this should be really funny. If you don't--stinks for you because my Gma rocks. She and my Gdaddy are camping (in their camper) for a few weeks in Asheville...their life = probs more exciting than yours. Kidding. They are so fun and adventurous though.

Speaking of Gmas...we'll be headed to the in-laws hizzy this weekend to celebrate grandma Tate's birthday. Pray for her if you think about it, Grandpa Tate recently passed away so this is going to be a different-feeling birthday for her.

Anyways, Chris should be getting out of class soon to come and give me infinite hugs for getting up early to sit in a library and wait for him to get out so we can go play today.

Also, I was looking through our honeymoon photos the other day for no reason and I remembered this gem:


Look how young we look.
Joking--we look the exact same..it was just a little over a year ago.

Anyways, I was just struck by how adorable and photogenic and ready for the photo we were...not. It's like we said, "On the count of three let's awkwardly close our eyes." (P.S. Yes, this was taken DURING the splash mountain ride. So risky and adventurous.)

That is all....unless you wanna creep on the rest of our honeymoonin' photos in which case I support your creeptastic needs: DISNEY.

Have a great weekend. :)

If you enjoy smoothies. And you enjoy PB&J. This smoothie will blow your mind. I first had a PB&J smoothie at a place in Clemson years ago--and I totally forgot about them...until today when I was about to make PB&J.....and then it hit me.
I know, it sounds gross. But you just make a PB&J....and then stick that sucker in the blender. Done.

That's a joke. Please don't do that. That's disgusting. Here are the ingredients:

First, the important things:

Chris has officially started school and he LOVES it! There are 19 people in his class, so I imagine they'll be a fun little family as the semesters go on. I'd love to be able to learn in a small class setting like that. It's perfect for him. There are something like 6 guys and the rest are girls, I believe? I was impressed with how many guys are enrolled.

On the first day of orientation, the staff anointed their hands with oil. (It's a Christian University for those that didn't know.) This warmed my heart and got me so pumped for the idea of Chris being able to use this work to serve God. Woo! It's super fast paced, though..and he starts clinicals in just 8 weeks, I believe..crazy.

I'm still awaiting news about the job possibility. I received some pretty promising remarks after my interview, so I'm trying not to be anxious about it..it should be a week or two before I find out. Pray!

Chris and I are LOVING this normal work schedule. We get to eat at a decent hour (like 6......still not used to it) AND we still have plenty of time afterwards.......or even BEFORE dinner to go play! :) We've been able to workout together again..going on runs and things when he gets home. And it's LIGHT outside for houuuurrrs! Y'all. This is not a joke. Such a blessing to us. Chris used to get out of work and it'd already be dark out. Last night, he got home, we hung out, went on a run, met with friends for dinner, and still had 2 hours of daylight left after we ate. Amazing...I think it's safe to say that we will always hope to have 1st shift jobs.

Not much else is new besides getting adjusted to this new (and better) schedule and hoping I get this job..we're super excited that all the students (and our siblings) are back in Clemson. It's so nice to be able to see family on a regular basis.

On a related side-note..it's weird living in a college town after college because your brain still categorize time as semesters. It'll be weird when Chris is done and we're in a different town (potentially) and we have to start thinking about years as being January to December instead of August to May.

Oh! Just finished up working on some new photos that I really really love. I love getting to meet so many different people with photography. You can look at the latest albums here.

Love!

Be praying for him in his schooling, he'll be done 15 months from now,

So anyways.

Get this madness.

I struggled for a few months (as noted in..um..maybe 95% of my posts in the last good while) with the fact that absolutely ZERO job openings were available to me.

Then. In one week, I was offered 2 (low paying but still awesome) jobs.

Chris and I knew it was going to be tight financially if I took them, with him going to school and all, but hey--God hasn't stopped providing for us yet (and I have a funny feeling he won't ever stop, imagine that.)

Anyways, I took them, but told BOTH employers that I needed to be very open to the possibilities of other full time jobs that could crop up...and if they did I would need to take the one that is best for our situation right now.

Today. Got a call from the agency I REALLY wanted to be at. My former supervisor and another worker from the place I interned at both have been emailing me and keeping me updated about job postings which has been so kind and really made me feel good about my time as an intern, but still--nothing was happening.

So now I have another interview.

I usually don't write about this stuff in detail before I'm more sure about the circumstances, but today I just felt like I really needed to surrender to the uncertainty. Because it's not uncertainty to God.

It's funny-literally everything we've needed in the past few months has totally come at exactly right time (and by right, we mean the very latest and most crazy coincidental times.) Chris kept saying it's so that "we won't ever be able to say it was anything other than God orchestrating it." I said kudos to that but also told God that I 100% believe he's sovereign and that his hand is the only one in all of this so "can you please stop doing that to me?" I'm sure He laughed at me for that, because He just did it again. I mean really-Chris starts school on Monday. This application has been out for over a month. Over a month!

I feel like a child being taught a never-ending lesson on pure, genuine faithfulness. I'm okay with it.

All this being said, I have no clue what is in store. None at all.

So whoever you are reading this. Just pray for me, k? That the right doors would be opened and closed and that if presented with options, that I would make wise decisions as I am guided.

-----------------EDIT---------------------

I was pondering all of this last night when I realize I left a crucial part of the story out.
I went back and checked, and the application I was talking about wasn't out for one month..it was almost three months.

I got an email about that job that said, "You're getting this to inform you that we have chosen another applicant for this position." I got that email in June.

That was a done deal for me.

Last night, I talked with a former co-worker from my internship and she told me that there is a glitch in the system, they've all been getting those emails, even after they've already been hired for the position.

Crazy. 

Well.
Good news for me. :)

Chris just got his nursing schedule and he knows he'll officially be done every day except for Wednesday at 3pm! Wednesdays will  be 530. (530 is STILL way greater than 8:00 and getting home at 8:30.)

This means a couple of things:
1.We'll be able to go back to eating at a normal time!
2. When he gets home..and I get home..we'll still be able to DO things like run around outside! (Technically, we could still do that now..but we can't eat till 9pm..done by what...930ish, and then we don't really feel like playing outside after that.)
3. We can finally have friends over for dinner during the work week! We always want to cook for friends but never could unless they wanted to eat at 9. And even if they did, all of the food planning would be on me since Chris didn't even get home till 830.

Ah. So good :) Now he just has to finish his last work week this week and he'll be off to school again.

It's really exciting seeing all these cars back in Clemson. However, I made the mistake of going to Walmart today. Dumb. It was a tad bit nostalgic seeing all the parents and remembering when my parents came up when I transferred here sophomore year. They look so young. I realize I'm not that much older than them. Crazy.

Lastly--I'm sooo excited for my brother to get back up to Clemson. With him being gone at camp all summer it feels like we haven't talked/hung out in AGES. I meesed him.

It's crazy to me to look back on a time when I was so unsure of myself. Seriously I was THE queen of beating myself up over everything. every.thing.

I battled hardcore with comparison which is so so so poisonous. So many people live their entire life trying to measure up to those around them, but if they only knew that they were created for such a specific purpose that can only be fulfilled based on the gifts and talents they were given.

If only I knew that when I was younger.

Starting to promote and even SHOW my photography was a huge step for me. Then, starting to get business was insane because I was still a little unsure of how my style was going to be accepted--my main concern was wanting to be true to myself and nobody else. But that's been going great and I still can't believe it sometimes.

All this being said, there was still a little tiny folder on my computer that I worked on just for fun. I've been designing my friend's save the dates, and she's always been one of those friends that is too encouraging for words. She seriously has ALWAYS made me feel so good about my art, even when I was just starting out and really unsure about it.

Anyways, I told her I'd design her some options for save the dates. Then I kept adding and adding to the folder. I talked with Chris multiple times about putting them on etsy for sale. He told me multiple times I should. Then I just didn't.

I thought of the quote by Dr. Seuss today (don't as me why) that says, "Today you are you, that is truer than true..there is no one alive who is youer than you." And I was like, "Hey Dr. Seuss..you're so right." Kidding. I didn't say that--but I had given into the freedom of being myself a long time ago and still held this part of me back. Why do I care if someone doesn't like my style of art? There are plenty of other people that do. No artist can appeal to every human being.

For that reason, I stopped even LOOKING at other peoples work-whether it was photography or graphics..I just stopped. I focused completely on my own work and I'm so glad--because the result is that my work is a very accurate expression.....of me. I uploaded them to etsy and said, I don't care at all if nothing sells. I like my work. And I really meant it. (Mandy was the first one I emailed with the link to my shop when I finally opened it..and all I said was..you inspired me to do this. See how much encouraging words can spring a person forward to pursue something they've always wanted to do?) I digress.

So. now. there is a link on the right to my shop...but don't just go look at it, unless you wanna.--Go think about what you've always wanted to do. You've been created with certain passions and desires for a reason. Explore them. 

1. Chris will be starting nursing school in exactly 2 weeks, and then he'll officially be done with school next December. (He's gonna be one fine male nurse if ya ask me. Those ladies he cares for are gonna be some lucky ducks.) ;) ;)

2. I got 2 jobs and will be starting those soon! One is doing ABA therapy (part time) with autistic children and the other is facilitating discussions in the school system with middle school girls, talking about stuff like building healthy relationships and self worth, confidence, education about abuse, etc. (All of which I have personal experience with..SO glad God is using my story (once again) to serve the needs of others.)

3. We are slowly getting rid of stuff so it will be really easy for us to move around where we need to (we're trying to stay out of signing a lease while Chris is in nursing school so that we can focus on loans.) The first thing to go was our TV. YES. So happy about it. We didn't have cable anyway so it just kind of sat there. We put our book shelf in its place, which also gave me a little shelf/mantle in the living room. (More on that later...I have a funny obsession with mantles...running joke in our house.) On a side note, we probably WILL have a TV again in the future so we can do movie nights and stuff with kids. But we're pretty positive we'll never have cable.

4. We're not sure how much longer after nursing school we'll be in Clemson. Our personal/selfish desire is to be back in Charleston. (Back for me..not really back for Chris but he still feels at home there anyway.) God could bless that desire...but we're open to wherever he wants us. We'll also probably do travel nursing eventually...all over the US or even internationally. Depends. We'll see. I'd be lying if I said our hearts weren't set on the beach. (We realllly think we'll be doing missions, but we'd like the place we return to to be Charleston. Pretty specific with our goals. Bahaha.) We'll see what happens.

5. I'm reaaaaallllyyyy pumped about Chris finishing up at the job he's been at now. Lemme tell ya why. He's gotten home the past year at 830 every evening. We eat dinner at like....9..930 every night. Then we chill and do whatever and then it's basically bedtime. DUMB. He'll be home at a reasonable hour now..we can get back to cooking together without having to eat so late. AND, it'll still be light out when he gets back so we can actually go play outside and stuff. Not that you can't play in the dark but you get what I mean..it's less fun to kick around a soccer ball when you can't see it. But actually, besides the weird hours..it has been a good job for him.

6. Um. That is all?

I think.
Here's a picture of our lazy hammock Sunday at the Botanical Gardens:

Sometimes, when I'm editing..I get really excited.

Most of the time when I'm doing anything photography related I am really excited. But the thing about today that made me excited is that I love when someone's heart and joy come across so well in pictures. You can totally see it in their eyes. I can go through all of my albums and see those who are genuinely happy and those who are not.

I can also see those who have joy. This girl. Rachel. Her story of becoming a believer is.so.cool. It's so radical and full of life.

I got to hear her story (a more full version) during our time together yesterday. It moved me. Because if you met this girl, it'd be hard to believe that she was ever anything but a smile-y, laugh-y, bundle of joy and goodness.

But she was. Her story reminds me of the transformation of my own heart. Moments like that are such sweet reminders of the stone piles....seriously, he totally redeems and restores.

Anyway. Meet Rachel. Ask her about her life. Hug her. And just look at how beautiful she is.

First off: Confession.
Chris and I have watched.....get ready for it.....ZERO hours/minutes/seconds of the summer Olympics.

Before you judge us harshly I'd like to point out the following:
1. We don't have cable
2. We don't have a computer that we can hook up to the TV.
3. We've been slightly busy trying to figure out this schooling chaos for Chris.

(Funny side note before I delve into #3.....we're actually getting rid of our TV..I look forward to not having it around.)

Which leads me to my next reflection about being really poor and having no idea what this next 15 months is going to look like.

Don't judge me again for saying we have zero money--I am well aware of our blessings and the fact that even though we are seriously poor, we're still better off than much much much of the world.
We get that...and honestly...it's a shot to the heart and confirms (again) our desires to do international missions together once we're done with all of this.

Regardless of our status in comparison to the rest of the world, it's still hard. That's what I'm going to talk about. "Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything" has taken on a WHOLE new meaning in this chapter of life for us. I write this through teary eyes, because this has proven to me, once again..that I don't WANT to HAVE to rely on God to provide for us.

I don't want to.
I want to rely on myself.

When is the last time you truly had to rely solely on God? I remember being so moved by this concept in Nicaragua....but maybe I was so moved by it because I was on the outside looking in. From the inside, it's much more hazy. (I'm not saying it's hazy for them, too..it is for me because I spent my entire life not knowing what it's like to be in situations like these.)

Literally, just now..I debated ending this post there. Because I have nothing else to say or think about it.

Besides the fact that I just want to rely on myself.

What kind of culture is this? My mind has been trained to build up my own security for my own situations for my own life. I was just telling my friend Darlene that it's so easy to say we want to take people in and give them a place to stay...but the thought of asking other people to take US in feels so so so uncomfortable. Why? That's so ridiculous. Especially if we're truly living in community with one another and calling ourselves the church.

It shouldn't feel burdensome. It shouldn't feel uncomfortable. But it does. Because we crave individualism in this culture. We crave our "own" space and our "own" things, and our "own" little families that absolutely need to be separated by four walls and a yard. I'm describing myself here. Not anyone else.

Why should I care if ten people wanted to move in with us? The bible clearly states that leaving and cleaving after getting married is a good thing (in regards to creating a union with one another APART from our biological families)--but it says the contrary in regards to ANYONE in need. We think that we just get to create our little spaces with the people we love to be around, and when an uncomfortable situation arises we like to rationalize scripture and pretend that "leaving and cleaving" applies to the rest of our lives with our spouses and children.

We live in a culture of entitlement.
I'm entitled to want to just live in this house with my husband and future children because I earned it. I worked for it. WE created this life together. We did.

The reality of the situation is that none of this is ours anyway.
The reality of the situation is that "the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God."
None if it is ours. And we can't take it with us. And just like I don't want to ever look back on my life and wish that I had cared for more people, I don't want to look back on my life and wish I had been less prideful about asking for help.

I don't want to look back on my life and wish I had spent less time feeling like a burden and feeling shame.
I want to look back on my life and be glad that I found joy in the midst of uncertainty.
I want to look back on my life and see that I was still able to GIVE MY ALL to others when I didn't even have anything material in nature to give.

Meh.
It's a process, I suppose.

I made a really good meal last night and didn't take a picture of it.
LAME.

Also nerdy that I try to remember to do that.
Whatever, I didn't come up with the recipe anyway, but
here's a link to it:  Korean Beef

This recipe is ALL over pinterest. I figured that means it's good.
Luckily for us, we happen to have organic, local, grass fed beef on hand.
Huge. HUGE difference. Seriously.

I wouldn't try it if you don't have good quality stuff, otherwise
it would end up a greasy, weird mess.

What I DID make was some awesomesauce fig
salad dressing. So stinkin' delicious. We love figs.
Morgan isn't sure if she likes them but at least that's not a no.

Fig Dressing:
A.....handful? or Two...of whole figs. (eek. sorry. I don't measure. I'd guess it was about 2 rounded cups of figs.)
Good quality balsamic vinegar (1/2 to 1 cup)
S&P
A little bit of olive oil or grapeseed oil. (Urgg...maybe a couple tablespoons?)
Garlic, chopped (or whole if you have a good blender.)

That is IT! Blend that sucker up. It's sooo good, especially with spinach leaf salad and feta cheese.