One of the best compliments I received when I was pregnant with Ellie (after I already knew) was when I was at work and a not-so-friendly employee looked at me in passing and said, "You smile way too much." They weren't joking and they probably expected me to shut off my smile and walk away swiftly. Instead, I said "Because of JESUS!" and they rolled their eyes and kept walking. If they had stopped I would have probably continued to talk about it until they shut me down, but hey, you can't win them all.

It's been weird not updating about Elsie in terms of her physical state because of the fact that we haven't been back to the doctor--but MAN is it refreshing. (Although not super helpful for those of you who like solid medical updates.) One good thing (?) about having already been through this (eek) is that I feel very confident and not in the dark at all about how to handle the medical aspects of this pregnancy.

For those wondering, we go back on the 1st--but not for testing or anything like that. Just to have a look at her and make sure I'm doing fine..which I am because I know my body super well. And my husband is a nurse! All great things to have on your side. For the record, I'm 27 weeks. I'm going to SEE if we can get by without going again after this. Y'all, I'm telling you, we never did anything ground breaking at any of my appointments with Ellie. They just told us she was going to die over and over and I peed in a cup and I already knew I was fine because I'm a healthy individual and I eat enough protein and I don't have gestational diabetes and EVERYTHING IS OKAY.

But..to put you at ease, there is an emergency room literally almost rock-throwing-distance from our apartment and if something freakish were to happen I'd be there in no time.

That being said, Elsie IS growing and moving (a lot..at night..please let your mommas sleep..just kidding I don't care) and her movements are so so different than Ellie's. It's amazing how different. We don't know at what RATE she is growing, but she is growing. She, like Ellie, loves prayer time because she's a treasure, and she always finds Chris' hand and presses her little booty (or back, or belly, who knows) up to his hand while we pray. She gets feisty and awesome during prayer time like Ellie did. As soon as we stop, she's back to normal. That's my girl.

People have been saying less dumb stuff to me the past few weeks because I don't talk about it as much with strangers or people I don't know well. We have found that we have our "safe" people who we can talk to about Elsie and beyond that it's just a good thing to protect our minds from people asking me stuff like if I'm going to actually be okay if Elsie would happen to live and need extra medical attention. Real life. I usually want to say, "God forbid she needs medical attention...no I'd totally rather her die" but instead I muster up the heart to say that I would literally sacrifice my life for Elsie to live in any fashion on this Earth. Because she is my actual child..she's not some half-human that may or may not really exist.

Speaking of, I came across a statistic recently that said that 95% percent of women in my position choose to abort their babies. I wonder if (and hope) that percentage is a little high, but I do know that it's the overwhelming majority. I can say that I know I know I KNOW that temptation well, because you would do anything to alleviate the heartache that comes with such devastating news. But when we begin to profess our faith in the author of LIFE, we too are obligated to choose life. It's not about taking the high road or the hard road or choosing to suffer, but I can guarantee you with all that I am that choosing death for Elsie would. not. bring. us. life. So we don't choose this out of empty obligation, we choose this because it's actually no longer an option. We, who have so much in the western world, SO desire the easy way out, and we desire comfort and safety, and most of all we desire control...but those things should fall away in the face of who Jesus is. This isn't a condemnation for those who have taken the other road--I'm just suggesting that we who are believers always choose to partner with life...no matter the cost.

So, anyway, back to what I was saying before- if you're ever going through a hard time in life, don't feel pressure to tell anyone you don't want to. Just find your safe and loving community and lean on them all the time! And read your bible a lot. And talk to God a lot. And listen to worship a lot. Or at least stream it in your house while you're doing stuff. This is what most of Chris' off days look like for us, and what most of my days look like while he's gone.

I, for one, am happy about fall time in Charleston--it's been a while since I've experienced it. I'll try to take more pictures..I've been so slack about that lately. I blame the iphone which actually has a really really great quality camera. Pretty remarkable!

Chris is doing great (well, not today..he's a little under the weather and sleeping) and Pax is...cat-like, and I am doing great, and Elsie is doing great...because God is greater than our circumstances, as cliche as that sounds. Tis true.

Love and blessings to all you people! Clemson folk-we're working on setting a date to come hug your faces. Stay tuned!