Two posts in one day!? I'm on a roll. I closed the last post and thought of other things I wanted to mention that are less doom and gloomy and more random, but if you didn't get to read the last post because I'm too quick for yo' butt, you can find it here.

But anyways, today I was laughing about certain things in life that I used to talk about a lot--for instance, how people always used to give Chris and I stinkin' dumb advice before we got married and random bits of non-wisdom that made us laugh a lot and then I realized that the goodness doesn't stop there. Pregnancy brings a whole new realm of dumb advice/encouragement that isn't really encouragement and I'm glad that we can just laugh about it.

Does it ever end? One time, this guy was all like, "Aw man...just wait until the honeymoon when you start seeing who your spouse REALLY is." And I was all like, "Ummm...I'm pretty sure I know Chris REALLY well." And he snickered and huffed and puffed all like whatever little girl..you haven't seen anything yet. You guys have never LIVED together.

And then I went on my honeymoon and found out I married a PSYCHOTICBIPOLARCRAZYPERSON. Sike. I married this nugget

and nothing he's done to this day has been a surprise. Nothing. I know that kid better than he knows himself. It's actually true. And then they were all like, oh man........your first year is going to be ROUGH. And we were like whatevs you don't know us. And then other people were like...first year is EASY...just wait till the SECOND year. And we were like youpeopleneedtogetalife.

We're past two and on our way to three and I'm basically more in love with this crazy man than I ever was.

So anyways. Someone recently asked me if my husband had "started to cook me dinner and stuff now that I'm pregnant" and all that. And I was like........ummmmmm...he cooks me breakfast and dinner basically every day and I need to actually get better about helping him more in the kitchen. HA. And their response: "Oh goodness......yeah I remember when my husband USED to do that, better not get used to it." And then I do what I always do: use my parents as a cop out.

I was like "Last time I checked my parents have been married for a million years and my dad still spoils her rotten." And then I walk away all booooomsuckaaas! Just kidding, I'm slightly more compassionate than that and I hope their husbands (and hey--maybe/probably the wives too) get with the program and stop being marital poop heads.

The point of all this is to say that people do it with babies too. And I'm sure they do it with grandbabies and career choices and college majors and not being satisfied with the type of coffee you ordered and the fact that you bought regular bananas instead of organic ones at the grocery store and all that. People have opinions. It's okay. But the next person that tells me when and how and why I'm going to go into labor and how big my child is going to be and what my child is or isn't going to have wrong or right with her is going to get a rude awakening.

And by rude awakening I mean nothing will happen because I'm way less confrontational than I think in my head and plus I want to be kind and gentle and not a butt in life. But I mean...it's crazy, right!? I have opinions too but I mostly keep them to myself unless someone specifically asks me about them or I feel that my opinion will actually encourage them and not make them feel like a blazing idiot who doesn't know anything.

So listen, people. Not even I.......the person carrying this dear child...nor my husband have ANY earthly idea what is to come in the next few weeks. If I could teleport into the future, come back, and let you know...I would. But I helped make this little munchkin and for the life of me cannot figure out how to gaze into the future to even determine what color hair she is going to have. Life problems. And if WE don't know......you don't know, either.

Nobody reading this is even any of those people I just described up there. Because I'm positive they don't even know this blog exists. Not to fear, I'd still write it. What I love--are the sweet people I hang out with and go to work with who just let me talk about how weird my life is right now and they just give me hugs and laugh at me and agree that this weird stage of life is really crappy for us instead of sitting me down to talk about things that nobody even knows.

This rant=over.

Thanks for listening.

Did you see this face? I'll show you again. I'm married to this person. It's okay to be jealous as long as you don't act on it. I'm kidding. Jealousy isn't good.....let's just all acknowledge together that this man is attractive and that he has the kindest eyes and smile on the planet. Annnnnnnnnnnnnd done.