Finals, Weddings, and God's grace!

9:05 AM

For over a year now, I've been waiting for the day that it would "feel" as though this wedding is actually close. Chris and I have slowly but surely crossing down the days in our calendar, and though the number has gotten smaller it still hasn't felt small. Too wait for something that you desire so so much can be so difficult! However, I am so thankful for the support we've received from our family and friends. I have talked to so many who have not been as blessed as Chris and I have, and I can only imagine how burdened it must feel to be counting down to a day that is not supported by loved ones.
Finally, last night, I was trying to fall asleep when I realized that I'm less than 2 weeks away. The long awaited feeling of it being almost here set in, and I can finally envision May 15th with patience instead of anxiousness. I can look back on our engagement and sort through the wonderful advice we've received from our three (yes three) different sets of counseling, and what used to be so "hypothetical" is now becoming reality.
Never in my life did I feel as though I would end up with someone as wonderful as Chris. It really shows me how worthlessly I viewed myself, and how beautifully God views me. This is yet another physical sign of God's love, support, and provision for my life. He has blessed me beyond what I ever expected, and by doing so He physically solidifies my worth in His eyes--which is still not something I deserve!

I've found that engagement has been such a humbling experience, and I know that marriage will be even more humbling. I've actually gotten excited about being unsure of how we will be able to support ourselves for these next two years. For the first time in my life (sadly), I will be relying fully on God to provide for us. I've been so blessed to have parents that have been willing and able to support me financially thus far which I know is a gift from God, and not having that anymore is going to be different, but such an amazing turn in building upon my faith.

And as if these things alone were not enough evidence of God's grace, I had been stressing since last fall when Chris and I got engaged about the dreadful finals week of May. I was anxiously awaiting my exam schedule so I could figure out how the heck I was going to study for multiple finals with the wedding under two weeks away. Well, surprise!!--I only have one final. ONE. This has never happened during any other semester, and I can assure you it is a rarity for student life at Clemson. Honestly, it is likely that this will never happen again. So amazing. The best part about this..is I only have to make a 68 on this one final to maintain my grade. Absolutely no pressure. So good. SO GOOD.

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