=so much different this year. Not necessarily better, definitely not worse. I definitely love my co, but I also had an amazing co last year and I would move in with her in a heartbeat if I could now. But Sarah Mckay, more recently known as "Narnar" is indescribable. We're kind of in love. And, I do love love LOVE working with the Cherokees over the Choctaws. They are so fun and there is more of an emphasis on our friendship than having to teach appropriate/inappropriate behavior with the Choctaws. It was always hard with the Choctaws being good "friend" with the girls, because if they view you as such, they lose the ability to respect your responsibilities as a counselor. We loved them for SURE, but the dynamic is just so different. :)

Not enough time to write more..I'll update soon.

I guess it's okay to post this since not too many at camp have access to it. And those that do.....shhhhh ;)

So. Today is June 23rd. My classes ended today. I'm enjoying my freedom from school for the rest of summer, and hating the fact that they are the reason I couldn't return to camp.

Next thing you know, I get a call from an unfamiliar area code. I get a voicemail and it says:
"Hey Jordan..it's Sharon (Camp Director who hired me last year) I can't really remember why you had told me that you couldn't come back to camp this year, but we have one, maybe two staff positions open that need to be filled for the rest of camp..."

I'm pretty sure the voicemail continued, but at that point I ran out of my room, through the kitchen where I slurred some random words to my mom about "GOING TO CAMP" and then called Sharon on the ASAP. I told her to tell me about the voicemail and she said that unfortunately, a staffer needed to leave after the first session (Camp runs for four, 2 week session) because of things back home. I then freaked out in excitement and let her know that this is insane because my classes ended TODAY.

So, she sent me the contract..and off I go, frantically packing my life away in only 2 days.

Best. Thing. Ever.

And trust me, I'm going to miss my family, our family vacation, the freedom to see Chris on a more frequent basis...but this was SO God, and all summer I've been bombarded with 2010 Camp pictures that keep popping up on my facebook news feed...containing pictures of all of my friends, co-counselor from last year, crazy activities, and it made me so SO sick seeing them every day.

So there you have it. Saturday I'll be moving into my cabin, and only had to miss out on one session! I knew it couldn't be the end.



And to Chris,
You're support and encouragement still amazes me. I am so sad for the opportunities that we are going to have to postpone..I'm going to miss your guts SO BAD. ;) You are the most amazing man I have ever known and the fact that I'll be living EVEN closer to you at camp makes me so happy. I love you so much! Oh, and, don't forget that I'm bringing my computer up there (which I didn't last year..) so that's just another way we can communicate! :) I'll be blowing UP your email inbox just fyi. :) Thank you thank you THANK you for everything you do for me. We are surely going to make the most out of every SECOND of my time off. Get ready. <3

Ive had this urge lately to examine myself and my role in entering social work. Students that study sociology, for the most part encompass all, or most of these qualities:
1)huge hearts
2)desire to change lives in positive way
3)learn to function more efficiently as a society
4)end world hunger and make sure all babies are adopted into middle class, mentally stable, diverse yet comfortable, homes. (haha. no, its true.)

So then, I talked with a teacher of mine about this frustration that I have-with myself. The thing is, I've always noticed this trait of mine. Almost every problem, issue, controversial topic that exists, I could write a passionate and epic novel about siding on the left side, and then I could turn around and do the same for the right side. It's not indecision, it's open-mindedness to the point of extremity. As a Christian, the only thing in the world that I am absolutely one sided on is Jesus. That's it. Now, that's not a bad thing (in my mind) but my teacher explained that she too, feels the same way. She said it is the curse of the mind of a sociologist. So then, to better explain in a way that I can't, I stumbled upon this passage about just this topic! (How convenient.) So here it is, in better words than I could come up with..especially the last paragraph.

"WHAT IS PROBLEMATIC about morality in sociology? The answer is nothing, or lots, depending on what and how morality is built into sociology.

At a general level, being moral means no more and no less than supporting or opposing people, activities or things. It is equivalent to valuing or disvaluing, preferring or disliking, justifying or damning, or just being interested in an active way. In this sense, morality is ubiquitous, and hence sociology, like all other social activities, is unavoidably moral. Why would anyone practice sociology if they did not value it or have an interest in it?

The issue, then, is not whether sociology can, or should, be value-free--this is a strategy that sets up a false dichotomy as a prelude to forcing a choice that disvalues enquiry and leaves room for moralising--but what kind of morality, what set of values, is at work: do sociologists value the ethos of enquiry and allow it to drive their work, or do they bring values to sociology that are incompatible with this ethos?

Sociologists rarely lay out this clash of values for inspection because they don't want to put themselves in a position where they have to choose between them; they want to think of themselves as enquirers while at the same time promoting values that are antithetical to the ethos of enquiry. This wanting things both ways pervades sociology."

I want things both ways, everything..both ways. Why? Because then everyone is happy and the result is peace. Doesn't conflict arise when one person wants one thing and the other wants something else? So then it makes perfect sense as to why God made me this way. This constant struggle of being so completely passionate about two opposing ideas....

One day my head is going to explode from this kind of stuff. Seriously.

I got a job. (THANK GOD.) It pays higher, no tax taken, and I get to people watch all day. Win.

It depresses me because it's in the mall, I get to watch people walk around aimlessly spending money on clothes and things they don't need, and I can't comprehend that type of lifestyle. Lose.

So, I was working for this company for my not-so-serious summer job, when without telling us, the lease ended and the plans for renewing the lease were...yep..not happening. Little did I know this information, and considering I had been with the company for about three years, I assumed they would at least tell me so I could start looking for another job sooner than JUNE.

We all know what happens when we assume.

So, I have officially been affected by the terrible economy that hadn't affected me personally until just now. I realize that while summer jobs aren't that serious, it did come at a very inconvenient time considering I was trying to save extra money to pay for wedding festivities this coming up year. I officially can't imagine what it would be like to lose an ACTUAL job that supports an entire family. This also makes me realize how little I've been depending on God for any part of my "income." Since I made hardly any income as it is (minimum wage) I never really thanked God for the opportunity to work that job in the first place. Now I don't have it, am not making ANY money at all at the moment, and wondering how I'm going to have any 'extra' money next year at all.

Through prayer and talking to Chris, I am trying to settle my anxiousness, and my terrible attitude that I'm pretty sure my mom is getting tired of...
Chris told me something so simple yet so uplifting and reminded me that I "have to remember that no money I will ever make is going to affect my eternal life, but the way I respond to these situations could." AKA, stop being an idiot, and start trusting God like I am supposed to be doing.

I look at Chris' attitude about anything he earns, and then at how God has blessed his business...and that in itself is reason for me to count my blessings, I get to spend my life with my best friend..and what a solid man in Christ he is..no amount of money could outshine that blessing, especially a silly summer job.

"To sit patiently with a yearning that has not yet been fulfilled, and to trust that, that fulfillment will come, is quite possibly one of the most powerful "magic skills" that human beings are capable of. It has been noted by almost every ancient wisdom tradition."