"Our doubts are traitors of thought, And make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt."

Friday, November 13th..be sure to write LOVE on your arm to raise awareness for TWLOHA and depression/cutting/abuse among adolescents across the nation!!!

Visit http://www.twloha.org for more info.

chris and i last year catching snowflakes..funny looking back on it.

For mom..the things you'll do at college..haha. Almost peed my pants.

cant waiiittt to see themmm friiidayyyy! woooo!!

I forgot that I took this of Mikey when I took him to Frankies before school started. While standing in line he was so afraid of getting 'the pink car' so I cracked up when the guy directed him straight to the pink car. hahaha. what a cutie.

This is for you, Mom. So cute :)

So it's 5:46 in the morning, and this is for sure going to be an all nighter..but on this study break my mind is racing about the absolute beauty of uncertainty. Not uncertainty of what I should be following...because my heart is there and i'm fully at peace and committed to him..an uncertainty of just how it's going to happen. The beauty of not being in control and being so absolutely okay with it.

So many people settle in their complacency and look the other way at the chance of taking the oh so cliched "leap of faith.." but the most amazing thing that I am finding after forcing myself off of my little ledge of security and safety..is that so many are buying into this lie that they are going to end up jumping into this type of air-y nothingness and are going to sit there waiting for God to take control....when in reality, said nothingness is actually this perfectly paved path that you just cant see from the top. And it's dark. Pitch dark. But you walk. and gripping your hand is my God, my Father. And he's not flipping the light switch and illuminating his perfect plan for my life. He's holding a flashlight for me and He's shining it right where I'm supposed to be and holding me while I run there..and thats absolutely all I need.

There are no worries. There is no fear. just perfect perfect perfect peace. So about this test and the ignorance that comes from the text that I've been forced to study these past weeks and viciously these past hours..I have this to say: "You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life, and it is they that bear witness about me,yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life." (John 5:39-40) As Mike Donehey says "Christianity was never meant to be a belief system. It was meant to be an ENCOUNTER with a PERSON. It always has been, and always will be." an intimate, ridiculously and never-endingly loving encounter..that you just can't deny..not with all of the useless "knowledge" in the world. -I'll die if I don't die to myself.....I can only strive to be come nothing so that maybe I will one day be able to offer some sort of hint or spark of a reflection of this love that I am so absolutely undeserving of, yet consumed in so overwhelmingly--Why? Because He is perfection.

and I am becoming nothing, as it should be.

So, in my New Testament Religion class we’ve been learning about not only the New Testament but also the older Hebrew Scriptures and the basis of the Jewish and Christian religion. I enjoy this class, however..something wasn’t sitting right with me about the. The details and aspects we learn are usually very negative and opinionated and majorly based off of a book that strives to point out the contradictions within both religions. So I did a bit of research on the book that the teacher teaches from…and my detective skills lead me to the problem. The man that wrote it is agnostic. We’re learning about these religions from a man who considers him self a “Critic of historical documents and the new testament.” There you have it. If I’m learning about my own religion as well as others from someone that is just presenting the facts and allowing me to compare..then fine, it doesn’t really affect me if he doesn’t believe in any of them…however..this is an agnostic man that doesn’t believe in ANY religion and moreover presents them in a way to make you feel like an idiot if you believe in ANY God or religious text.

"Unfortunately, as careful a scholar as Ehrman is, his treatment of major theological changes in the text of the New Testament tends to fall under one of two criticisms: Either his textual decisions are wrong, or his interpretation is wrong." Wallace also wrote, "One almost gets the impression that he is encouraging the Chicken Littles in the Christian community to panic at data that they are simply not prepared to wrestle with."

..I forgot how good this song is. Listen.

mmmmm. haha I looked this up because we use to talk at camp about how many bugs we've probably eaten since we're practically living/eating/sleeping outside for two months.

It's funny how all your friends can be in relationships (usually bad, pointless ones) and yet those of us that are single still end up occasionally feeling envious that we don't have somebody and they do. A portion of my friends are in awesome relationships (D & Rami, Mandy & Sam) and those are the ones that I love to see grow. But speaking of the pointless "college dating scene.."..Since I've been old enough to date I've been through some REALLY rough situations and relationships. and also some pointless ones...have I learned from them? Of course..but would I take the things i've learned along with those relationships over going back and not having them at all? Heckkk no. So my conclusion is--why waste any time. At the same time, while feeling somewhat confident that God has the perfect person for me, I can't lie to myself and act as if I don't wonder who it is. All I can do is pray for him and be sure that God's timing is best. And whenever I do meet the right person and decide to start dating..I would have had all this time to tell him that i've been single because nobody else was worth dropping anything to date..and he is.
)

Chicks in the Mud from Ridgecrest Summer Camps on Vimeo.

This is currently my life anthem.

My friend, Cassie, who I worked with at camp this summer is a musician (quite talented and beauitful inside and out) and got the opportunity to open for Tenth Avenue North last week, so Liz and I went to see and support her! It was an amazing show and she did SO great..I was so so so proud and thankful for this experience! Her music is now up on itunes now so check her out and support her!!! She is an amazing person, friend, and musician. I can't wait to watch her grow and make more beautiful music. Check out Tenth Avenue North too if you haven't! Especially "By Your Side" and "Satisfy."

I've been dealing with a lot of serious stuff lately. I'm at the point in my life where whatever decision I choose to make is going to completely change the direction of my life. I've been forcing myself to play it safe and I'm always a bit scared of disapproval..so a couple hours ago I headed to the botanical gardens to walk, pray, and journal. I wrote (quite furiously) for about thirty minutes before praying and I feel so much better now. I may not have all the right answers right now..but that much needed alone time/a good cry (along with a ton of Reese's peanut butter cups) helped, which got me to realize...I LOVE having all of my friends so close to me in this apartment complex..but sometimes right when you need some quiet time..there's the knock (or just the walk-in) of friends. Don't get me wrong..I love them ALL and they are great company, but I find that if I don't have my alone time then i'm not such great company to them at all. I'm going to make it a point to set some time aside every day..even if I can't find solitude in my apartment, places like the gardens and even secret beach are going to have to be part of my day to day schedule.

So, check it out. I went climbing recently..as you can see from the picture. I wish this picture was actually a video so you could see how the higher I went, the slower I climbed. Why would I climb slower at the top you ask? No, not because I was tired. Because literally the further up you go, it turns into a blazing furnace much like the feeling of the inside of a volcano. Wish I was lying. I'm talking like a 10-20 degree difference in temperatures here. I would reach back to try to chalk up my hands that were on fire and as soon as I would pull my hand out of the chalk bag the chalk would form into greasy watery goo and slide right off. I managed to make it to the top and then was lowered down and I asked an employee why the top of the wall is on fire and he told me that it's because the outside of the building has a STEEL roof. In columbia. In the summer=death. By the third or fourth route, I didn't even have the motivation to reach the top because I knew I was in danger of getting a heat stroke up there. Major fail on the builders part if I may say so myself..however, I imagine that it worked me out a lot harder than it would have otherwise. It was still super fun....except for all the wasted chalk.

My best friend and I stay up far too late drawing pictures of our favorite quotes. Here's one of my favorites.

You guys know that show rescue me? With Denis Leary who plays the angry, mostly drunken, kinda scandulous firefighter? Well, i'm obsessed with it. Literally. It's pretty much trashy but I just like it haha. guilty pleasure. So apparently Denis Leary loves dogs..so him and his wife were featured in The American Dog Magazine. Well, low and behold, on page 48 (and 49), there is a full article about my aunt, Heather LaHaise, who is a pretty well known artist around Columbia (well, and now apparently everywhere.) So pretty much, that's exciting. Not only that my aunt is an amazing artist that I wish I will one day be remotely close to being able to paint like her....but that she was photographed for the magazine by the same people that photographed Denis Leary, who I just so happen to watch on hulu for hours on end fighting fires and hitting people.
Moral of this story? Aunt Heather, please use this connection to allow me to meet this wonderful man.

Blogging sounds so nerdy. But in my defense, this started as a way for my mom and I to read about little things going on in eachother's lives while I was away at college. (Stuff that you forget to say when you talk on the phone and such.) But actually, now that I think about it..its a good place to keep record of things you want to look back on and remember...so I don't mind it. It's the same as journaling right? And the only people that can read it are the ones I tell about it...so consider yourself luuucccckkyy. haha.