WHERE HAVE THE TATES BEEN?

3:44 PM

We've been everywhere! Hence no time to sit down and type + no wifi yet. We're pros at this whole moving thing at this point, but we probably won't have internet for a few months, which I secretly love.

First, some business matters: I am largely OFF of facebook. If you've sent me a message and I haven't responded, that is why. I may delete it, maybe just won't check it..but if you see any "updates" it's solely because sometimes I post directly from instagram onto facebook..or log on and post my blog and log off.

Here's why: facebook makes me feel icky. Also, during Christmas, I logged on when I shouldn't have and saw many a gorgeous baby in front of many a Christmas tree........and as joyful as it made me for my sweet friends..it devastated my still fragile heart on our first Christmas without Ellebell. Soooooo basically I thought to myself, "No good can come of this anytime soon or ever." and then I threw my computer against the wall. Kidding. Almost. So when you see this link on facebook and you're like..she was ON facebook why didn't she respond to me!? It's because I'm posting this link and then running away.

Call or email instead! Or straight up facetime me at my email so I can see your face.

We had an otherwise good holiday, especially because two of our best friends got married, and Lizzy was home from Nigeria. She's back there safely now and you can continue praying for her and following her adventures at the link I have posted to the right!

As of the 10th of January, Chris is a registered nurse. Crazytown. I can't even believe it. He's in the process now of looking for jobs, so pray for the right one to come at the right time..no worries there. It's amazing how you stop worrying about things like getting jobs when you see how dramatically God moves in other ways. The healing he's done in my heart has been so life changing and drastic and unreal that worrying about a job seems wildly trivial. Funny.

Ah, but still, in the midst of healing there is still pain. The pain of moving on, the struggle of certain experiences without our first little one....(the ocean is a biggie) and the pain of meeting new people whose first questions are usually "Aw, how long have y'all been married?" quickly followed by, "Do you have any children??" Cue the sharp pain in my chest and the internal conflict associated with telling too little or telling too much or straight up lying for the sake of someone elses comfort in the social sphere and then all the sudden I'm worried that I've been thinking too long and not talking enough and hi nice to meet you I promise I'm not crazy. Messy. And okay. Each of these small social interactions remind me of Ann Voskamp's words, “Losses do that. One life-loss can infect the whole of a life. Like a rash that wears through our days, our sight becomes peppered with black voids. Now everywhere we look, we only see all that isn’t: holes, lack, deficiency.” and I'm allowing myself to wade through the emotions of that without feeling guilty or pressured to step into a place that is neatly and beautifully packaged on the outside and wildly fake on the inside. Workin on it. Although I do know (and have experienced) that a life of "infection" and "void" are not what I am to expect, nor what I will settle for. Just a part of the process.

I am going back to work this Friday, and will most likely work until the next time I give birth (not pregs, for those wondering) so that's happening, and we're on this mission to pay off student loans like SO FAST.

Did I mention we consistently feel like small children on Christmas every day because THE BEACH and the salt in my lungs and I don't care what you say, I love the smell of pluff mud. I love living 15 minutes away from my nieces. I am trying not to have the idea of every sibling of mine (biological + in-law)(and also parents) living within 10 miles of me. I watched too much Parenthood and now all I can think about are spontaneous dinners and game nights and awkwardly having to tell each other that we need some time apart. CRAZYFAMILYCOMMUNEDREAMS comin' atcha.

Come visit us, people.
xoxoox

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1 comments

  1. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the smell of pluff mud and can't understand people who don't. Liking the new look of your blog. Can't wait to see you this week. And Yay! you for dumping facebook!!
    I should, too. See, a parent can learn from their kids. I do all the time. Love you!!

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